Reviews and Teasers

Commentary: Women’s’ Butts

 

 

I seen this on the news tonight.  Some Mr. Wizard science geek somewhere does this experiment on baboons. Here is what he finds out. Your male baboon gets the most excited by the female baboon with the reddest most swelled-up butt in the forest. A giant swelled-up butt on a monkey is a sign of sexual readiness and having strong offspring. Remind me not to take my old lady to the zoo. Them monkeys see my old lady’s butt they are liable to break out and kidnap her. Pearl could be a baboon queen.

 

I swear to you when I married my old lady I was not sure if I should give her a ring or two cymbals to clap together. The thing is in a human big old swelled-up butt ain’t no sign of sexual readiness.. – it is a sign some woman can not control herself, especially when there is Little Debbie snacking cakes in the house.

 

See, a woman’s butt is an amazing thing. They start out cute little things. You see a woman got one of those teardrop behinds hard enough to crack walnuts on, you think no she ain’t married. You take a woman and marry her; it is like taking an air compressor to a pool toy. I have seen women say I do and split their shorts right there. It’s a fact. I mean women can go from a super-model keester to control top pantyhose inside of 24 hours.  All they got to do is get married.

 

And if it was true that man was descended from apes, you would think they would be happy with that. But we ain’t.  We marry them because they got cute little butts and tight jeans, balancing on the bar stool. Before you know it they are in the back yard wearing a moo-moo and busting through the lawn chair in it. Wake Up America!     …© Burbank Creations

Earl Pitts “Feels Your Pain”

Description

“Earl Pitts Feels Your Pain” Track List

1) Real Man Pedicurin’
2) Lazy Eye vs. Disabled
3) Earl Bags a Deer?
4) Sponsor- Fish Whisperer
5) Fat Feet
6) Cut Rate Funerals
7) Heads Up
8) Sponsor – Colostomy Bags
9) Concussions
10) Manly Healing
11) Potluck Sunday
12) Redneck Fat Gauge
13) Sponsor – MowMaster
14) Women’s Butts
15) Animal Extinction
16) Men Don’t Talk
17) Sponsor – Dog Smells Great
18) Toilet Paper Offsets
19) $150 Squirrels
20) Regular Telephone
21) Sponsor – Toaster Bread
22) No Smoking vs. Losing Weight
23) Smoking School
24) Sponsor – Glo-Sticks
25) Smoking For Others
26) Smoke vs. Gas