Ernie Shill

I was raised in Houston, TX, by my middle class parents. Mom was a fanatically religious Holy Roller who often referred to my father as “that heathen Methodist”. I was the middle of five kids ( I’ll bet Dr. Phil would love to crawl around in my head ). We were raised to be polite, respectful and have impeccable table manners. Any infraction of these rules was grounds for a good old country ass whipping.
Since I was born a natural comedian I was often the recipient of said ass whippings. (my folks didn’t appreciate my humor ). I was also the class clown all through school, by the time I was in high school. I didn’t go to learn anything. I only went because I was doing three shows a day there. The educational system also did not care for humor.
After I graduated from high school I attended the University of Houston, for about 45 minutes. Then I joined the U.S. Navy. My sense of humor was also not well received, not much calls for a comedian in the military. I was in trouble so many times. I knew all of the Brig staff and Shore Patrol’s by their first names.
After my hitch was over I worked as a welder for about twenty years; then I was a trucker about another twenty years. Trucking really agreed with me because I was talking into the CB mike to a big crowd. I made truckers laugh all day and night.
After a few years of trucking I stared writing all the funny stuff down, One day a friend of mine insisted I call Laughing Hyena. I did and Arnie Hoffman answered his own phone. I did a telephone audition and he liked it and flew me out to Las Vegas where I recorded my first comedy CD. Now I have seven recordings.
I am retired now and all tapped out… got writer’s block, arthritis, a spastic colon and calluses on my ass. Lately I’ve been considering getting one of those Hover Rounds so I can keep up with the ladies at the “Senior Center”.
If anyone would like a free autographed CD, just send $200 to cover shipping and handling to Ernie Shill in Keller, TX 76248.