Reviews and Teasers

Ugly Country Singers


I am sick and tired of these tight pants wearing pin-headed punks passing themselves off as country singers. The butt-wiggling gigolos do not know the first thing about country singing. All they know is how to work up a crowd of hormone pumping females into a sexual lather. That is a fact. It is like these days you got to wear tight pants and have a guitar and you can start printing your own money. Fact is, and there is people going to back me up on this, your best country is sung by ugly people. Now let me take that back.


Your good-looking broads can sing good.  Your Shania, your Tanya Tucker, Reba, Patsy, Wynonna, before she plumped up real bad.  But your best guy singers, they are always ugly. Merle Haggard, the only videos he ever made was in convenience stores when he was robbing them.  Looks like when he was touring, he rode under the bus.  I mean this boy’s face looks like it got dragged across some pavement somewhere, but man he can sing.


Then they had these four guys together, called themselves the Highwaymen.  Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferstone, Willie Nelson, and Waylon Jennings. When these boys took the stage the women in the first few rows, they was blindfolded. But them boys could sing. Yeah, in the old days you wanted a good looking heart-throb guy country singer, you were stuck with Porter Wagner.  He was not so much good looking as prissy. Wake Up America!


©Burbank Creations

Earl Pitts “Greatest Hits 2”


“Greatest Hits Vol. II” Track List

1. Cigars
2. “Wheel of Fortune” Never Stops
3. Accidental Dismemberment
4. Insurance
5. Ugly Country Singers
6. Monkeys
7. Bacon, the Perfect Food
8. Real Beef Jerky
9. Wives Live Longer
10. Bingo